A Tribute to My Fathers

“More meat, please,” my three-year-old self said, holding out the plate to my father.

He grabbed a serving spoon full of thick mashed potatoes, and proceeded to plop them onto my waiting plate.

First, more starch. He didn’t want any child of his to look skinny. He didn’t want anyone to think he wasn’t able to provide for his bursting-at-the-seams family. Seven children in this small house. “Why do they have so many kids?” the neighbors might wonder. “They can’t even feed them.”

But this time, I was faster. I grabbed my plate out from under the falling, unwanted potato blob. The spoonful landed, splatting on the table. “More meat I said!”

My siblings sat quietly. No one dared laugh. They looked at me. They looked at him. What will he do? they wondered. A slight upturn of his mouth revealed there would be no explosion this time. Relief around the table.

That story is part of the family lore around our father. Of course, I don’t really remember the incident. In fact, I don’t remember much about him at all. My older siblings remember him. They have stories, many of them painful, of life with Dad.

One thing I can say about my dad is he was a good provider. He provided not only unwanted potatoes, but the money to be able to afford meat, fresh fruits and vegetables, clothing, and a roof over our heads–even if it was a tight fit. In the midst of chronic alcoholism, he managed to continue to work and earn money for his large family.

Alcohol and tobacco abuse killed him at age 43, but thanks to Social Security and generous death benefits from my dad’s work at the power company in Los Angeles, my mom was able to carry on. We were able to survive and maybe even thrive after he was gone. Today, I’m thankful that he was able to continue working, in spite of his illness.

God in his holy dwelling is a father to the fatherless and a champion of the widows. Psalm 68:5

This verse holds a lot of meaning for me. I was seven when my earthly dad died. I am comforted with this promise that God was and continues to be a father to me.

Many people don’t have fathers for a variety of reasons, and some people who do have fathers have bad ones. However, God is a good father.

Today in church, the Church School children gave a tribute to dads with a skit, a video of wishes about their fathers, and a prayer.

I was invited to pray for fathers at this service, so I chose this prayer by Charles R. Swindoll, with a few minor revisions. It gave me peace when I prayed it, and I hope it does for you too.

Lord, you are good to give us fathers. Far too often it’s a difficult role and thankless job, so we pray that today you will encourage all the men in that place. Guard their hearts. Strengthen their resolve. Help them embrace the joy that comes with the rearing of their children.

We thank you for our own fathers. For those of us who had supportive, loving and faithful fathers, we give you great thanks. There is nothing like a good father–one who leads his family with love and grace–presenting a life of self-sacrificial love consistently to his children.

Father, we also pray today for those who haven’t a father nearby or don’t have one like they would have wanted. We pray for those who have a father who taints their image of You. We pray you will make them trusting people and see that you are the Father of the fatherless. You’re able to take their deepest hurts and heal them. We pray you would use your word and your people to relieve some of their pain. For those who have not yet bowed their knee to the Savior, bring them to that place right now. May we give honor to you, God, for being our father and for giving us fathers. In the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

This Father’s Day I’m thankful for the physical provision that my dad was able to provide.

I’m even more thankful, that in the midst of brokenness, my father in heaven provides love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness.

Mom and Dad circa 1964

Mom and Dad circa 1964

10 thoughts on “A Tribute to My Fathers

  1. Denise, You write so eloquently! Thank you for sharing your story and your prayer. Whether it’s your memory or not, it’s part of your family lore – and that’s worth gold, isn’t it?

  2. I really enjoyed this. The prayer was beautiful. I don’t have a father but I always give credit to the Lord for being my real father. At least I know I am loved unconditionally even when I mess up and he forgives me and he’s still working on me as well. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Beautiful. Will be sharing with my Pastor at church on the mall near Philadelphia, PA.
    Sad that our warm and Loving but small Presbyterian community doesn’t have any children who come often but there are many around us who need the comfort of this message. Also am in contact with some people at the infusion center where I get treatments… And will share this with them too. Thanks for planting seeds of comfort, hope and joy. God is definitely multiplying your ministries. Love to you, Keith and Maria and Katie too.

    • Oh, Jan, what a sweet gesture. You have an amazing ministry yourself, dear! Thank you for your kind words. I miss being in ministry with you. God bless your work at the Church on the Mall and all the other ways you love and share with people.

  4. I love this. It was very hard to hide that smile and laugh that wanted to come out at the dinner table that day! 🙂 It also brought tears to my eyes just thinking of those days. I love you so. Good way to tell this story, it made me smile. God is so good.